Definition of self-love..( regards for one's own well-being and happiness)
I have decided to focus on self love in relationships, and how important self love is before entering any kind of relationship. God first, Your kids then YOU.. in that order.. We will always give our kids everything they want and need, before thinking about our needs and wants, without a doubt.. Always. Anybody other than God and your kids, should not come before you, period.
WHY SELF LOVE IS IMPORTANT.
If you do not love yourself, you will not be able to love anyone the same way that you are being loved. I know that you have probably heard this before and thinking (yeah yeah I know) but do you really? Do you really know? Do you put yourself and your needs before those closest to you? OR Are you making some difficult decisions by sweeping your needs and happiness under a rug, sacrificing your own needs and happiness for someone else?
Self love determines who you are and who you will be in the next 10 years, this is why I need my kids to practice self love so that they can become the best version of themselves one day. We too, need to understand the difference between self love and selfishness. When I say that you need to love yourself more than those closest to you, I do not mean that you should be selfish and completely disregard the next person's feelings, well-being and happiness.
Here are a few important factors that are associated with love and self love. •Respect •kindness •compassion •honesty •caring •understanding •thoughtful •Empathy (These are just a few that I've mentioned, there are tons more) let me get to it, let me try and help you to practice self-love before entering any relationship.
I have witnessed so many failed relationships and heartbreaks and sadly, many divorces too, due to the lack of self-love,many people never fully understand the effect of not loving themselves and what it can really do to a relationship. In order to really love someone else, you will need to create a space within to truly love yourself first so that you can love others with your whole being.
We all have insecurities, each and every one of us struggles with our imperfections, and most of our insecurities comes from our physical appearances. Insecurity plays a big role in many of us lacking self-love..why? Well, society has made us believe that looking a certain way, is not okay and does not reach a certain social standard, society has caused many of us trying to mold ourselves into looking and being a certain way and made us believe that being ourselves, or being different is a big NO NO.. This is why people allow their insecurities to make decisions for them, especially when entering a relationship. I've seen many people settle for any man/woman because they think they're not worthy of finding someone truly amazing that will love and care for them the way they should be loved and cared for. I have witnessed many people being disrespected, abused emotionally and humiliated by their partners because they chose to settle by disregarding their self worth and their own happiness.
We all want to be loved the right way, we want to be treated with respect and most importantly, we all want to be HAPPY, genuinely happy. This is one thing we all have in common, happiness brings out the best in us. Happiness makes us see the best in others too, but if we are not happy with ourselves, we become incapable of finding happiness in others. To have self-love, you will need to frequently ask yourself "Am I happy with this decision?.. Am I comfortable with this? Is my happiness and well-being taken into consideration? Am I being fully supported? If you answered NO to many of these, while reflecting on your own relationship, then ask yourself if it's really worth sticking around.. I know it's easier said than done, especially if you have kids, but let me tell you about how smart kids are, they take notice of every little detail, therefore it is up to us to be a good example to our kids, we might think that they are too young to understand what's happening, truth is.. yes they are, they are also smart enough to know when things are not okay. My son is 1 years old, and he already knows when I'm mad while raising my voice at my husband. Kids will pick up on these type of things, their memory will be a bit vague for sure, but that memory will still be there. I know of so many couples that stays together for the sake of their kids, the constant fights and disrespect around their little ones. I honestly don't think that it's okay, you are teaching your kids that these type of treatments are normal, subliminally telling them that being unhappy and disrespected is okay.. what's worse, you are telling them that it's okay for them to treat others that way too.
Every couple argues, disagrees and might go a day or two without speaking to each other, that's normal.. but if you're in a relationship that you're not happy in, find your self worth by telling yourself how worthy you are to be loved the right way, that you are worthy to be respected and treated with kindness, tell yourself how truly beautiful and handsome you are, tell yourself that it's okay to have your flaws, your flaws are what makes you, YOU! Remind yourself that you deserve all the happiness in the world, also tell yourself that love, starts with you.. love yourself so that you can make room to love others, love yourself so that you can walk away from all the things, that are not good for you, knowing that you will be okay if you decide to walk away. Love yourself that you can attract all that is good and that brings pure happiness. Love yourself so deeply, that you can easily identify things and situations that are not good or worthy of your time. Love yourself so much, so that you can take the necessary precautions and identify all the things that will not bring you pure and genuine happiness.
There's a saying that I firmly believe in.. " you are, what you attract" meaning, if you are constantly negative, you will attract negativity. If you lack self-love, there will always be something missing in your relationships. You will never be truly happy with anything that you put your mind to. Think of yourself, your well-being and happiness, always. Love yourself so that you can be the best version of yourself by teaching your kids or those closest to you about pure happiness and pure respect for oneself.
People are always trying to define "LOVE", I think that each and every one of us have our own definition of love.. love is one word, Acceptance! Love all comes down to truly accepting ourselves and others. Everything else like, loyalty,respect,commitment,trust,faithfulness, affection, attention etc.. are all things that are associated with love, but ACCEPTANCE is what it really is, so love yourself by truly accepting yourself, learn to love your flaws so that you can be confident in your skin. Confidence is sexy and it brings a lot of happiness to your life. When you are able to accept yourself and truly love yourself, you will attract nothing but the best things in your life. Remember, that we are only given this one life, we need to live our best lives. We should try and not live in regret. There is no time to be unhappy and to be stuck in situations that are not good for us. Make this one life count, by being genuinely happy with yourself so that you will be able to attract a good person that will love you the way you should be loved. Love is amazing, when it's right. Do not settle for someone that will not bring you any happiness. Do not waste your time with someone that does not love you the way you should be loved. You are beautiful inside and out, you just need to truly believe that so that you can find the right person that will love you by accepting everything about YOU.
Remember, confidence is the sexiest thing one can have, so be confident by loving the shit out of yourself. Finding one's self worth, makes us feel and look better. Guaranteed it will take a few years off your face. Happiness brings pure beauty.
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